-This article has been edited in accordance with the We Don't Want People to Get Emotional Commission. Various terms and subjects from this article have been removed for your mental well-being and to protect your freedoms. God bless America- Mimo Mackerow, CEO

OMITTED, NEW YORK

In the wake of the OMITTED in OMITTED people have been running the gambit of emotions. Everywhere you look people have gone from feeling a sense of OMITTED to a growing sense of OMITTED. This reporter as well has been touched by the OMITTED of the OMITTED and have felt OMITTED by the turnout of OMITTED for the various OMITTED drives around the country. During these times our country's OMITTED are put to the test.

Recently, in light of the OMITTED in OMITTED various people in the OMITTED industry have felt it necessary to OMITTED in order to protect the many citizens of the United States from actually OMITTED what has happened. Companies like Clear Channel Communications have been at the forefront of this show of outright "compassion" for what OMITTED hear. The have released a list of no doubt "OMITTED" and "OMITTED" songs that really shouldn't be heard on your OMITTED or anywhere else as many business people believe.

"OMITTED", says a Source close to Clear Channel Communications.

"We can't have OMITTED listening to stuff that could get them emotionally OMITTED! I mean take "Rock the OMITTED" by The OMITTED for example. It makes several references to Middle Eastern OMITTED and OMITTED. We can't have Middle Eastern OMITTED mentioned at all! It will remind people that the U.S. is filled with a different variety of OMITTED all OMITTED as one. If we make pretend they aren't a part of our OMITTED it will make it easier for us to OMITTED slur against them. OMITTED, we can't say "Let's OMITTED the fuck out of every country over there" if we realize there are actually a lot of Middle Eastern OMITTED that are good OMITTED! We can't afford to have that sort of anti-American rhetoric being distributed to our children like so many sexually transmitted diseasesÉnot that has to do with anything in my experience."

The Source shifted uncomfortably in his very expensive chair.

He also had this to say on various other OMITTED:

"People criticize our OMITTED of various Beatles songs: 'But they are British!' they say. Well I have it on good authority, thanks to VH1, that many times George Harrison has used a Sitar in many Beatles songs!" The Source stated, shaking a OMITTED.

"Sure, the Sitar is INDIAN, you say, but its country of origin is close enough to the Middle East to stir these sad OMITTED in people. The same goes for "Walk like an OMITTED" by The Bengals. Sure, OMITTED isn't involved in the OMITTED acts but does that really matter!? We must omit OMITTED that could possibly make people see there is a OMITTED going on in this country!"

The Source produced a list of even more songs he was considering from censoring from the airwaves. Including every Christmas song every written.

"Christmas stems from Christianity! Christianity puts in its central focus the teachings of Christ who was a JEW! OMITTED, the whole BIBLE takes place in the OMITTED! We can't have Christmas songs play and incite these horrible feelings in people and have them actually OMITTED and come to conclusions for themselves! Think of the OMITTED!"

The Source then excused himself since he was late from an appointment in forming a nationwide coalition to end "inappropriate concerts" from playing around the country.

In conclusion, I have some things I would like to say on this blatant censorship of music:

PARAGRAPH OMITTED

PARAGRAPH OMITTED

Thank you for your time. You are in my prayers, every single American regardless of OMITTED, OMITTED, OMITTED, or OMITTED.

-Keoki McDowell; ASSociated Press